Fly Me to the Moon that rests Somewhere Over the Rainbow...

I find it truly difficult to be continuously optimistic about my relationship when those around me are failing. Even though I feel guilty about it, I do try to learn from the mishaps that others encounter so I don’t have to make the same mistakes and feel the same pain. Hey, why should they be the only ones who benefit from such suffering? Jokes aside, I do think anyone can learn from a mistake, no matter whose mistake it was.

To fall in love is a beautiful thing. To be in love is even better. Staying in love takes some work though! Attempting everlasting growth in the lover’s realm truly takes deliberate patience! For those of you who know me, you know I will tell anyone who listens how much I love being in love. It just makes everyday life that much easier. I have to say though, when the stuff hits the fan, everyday tasks seem like they take every ounce of strength. Not to say that without love, there is nothing, but I will say love makes folks happy. Without happiness, there is not much to life.

I’m all for strong relationships no matter what race, but black love is so beautiful when it’s real. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we don’t deserve the same privileges that others do because of the color of our skin. That’s as big of a lie as them telling you that your vote doesn’t count. I’m sidetracking, I know, but I needed to throw that in there ;-) Although “the others” (hahaha) would like for us to believe we are conditioned to love each other, we must show them how it’s done and supposed to be.

I say all this to make a note that it is much easier to be happy in life. Now let’s make it clear that I don’t believe that happiness always equals being in love, I just used that as a jump off since it was the inspiration for this piece in the first place. The bottom line: Everything good in your life is worth the strife. Especially love.

Scenes of a Sistah:Past and Present

Just a thought...
I understand that we as black women have a historical trait of being nurturing. It is true that in the past we took care of everyone; our slave masters, their families, other slaves' children, and that list goes on. The only person that it does not include is us! For now, I have something to say regarding "nurturing."

I think it's cool to support your man. If you have a man who is all about doing what's best for the BOTH OF YOU, then he does deserve your "bestest." I say this because when stuff hits the fan, you know he has your back. Of course, there are limitations and you should know your own.

Ladies, I only have one thing to say about this one...While you take care of everyone around you, make sure someone is taking care of you. I look at it this way...If I don't take care of me, who will? God helps those who help themselves, so what is it that we are waiting on?

What the Heezy?

1. Ok Beijing, what's really going on? Fake fireworks, fake singers. What next? Fake athletic ability? Actually no, it was fake birth certificates!

2. I think I hear files containing doping charges against Jamaica sliding across a desk as I type.

3. Tell me, why do some think they are entitled to do whatever the hell they want?

4. Case in point. I don’t care how small your dog is, it does not belong with you at work. This is a place of business. Sheesh!

5. I have a real problem with elitist!

6. I guess I should make sure I'm not one before I make that comment...

7. I think I'm in the clear, maybe.

8. A certain someone's voice just makes me cringe like nails on a chalkboard.

9. Yup, I think the time is coming for me to move on.

10. Teej, I think I may have to try your "lyric listing method" just once to see if I can do it. ;-)

11. Would it be ok to beat the hell outta one of those kids in the store who won't stop screaming over some dumb piece of candy, toy, chips, etc.?

12. Seriously, I do know the answer to that. But would it be ok to beat the hell outta the parent for letting them act out like that in public in the first place?

13. On second thought, I think that happens to be a much better plan.

14. I take on my mom’s motto on that one, “Where you show out, is where you get worked out.”

15. She said that like it was a freaking Commandment. Acted as such too!

16. I got plenty of smack downs in department stores. HA!

17. Thinking of that, I can only imagine what I’m going to get back when I procreate.

18. Mercy, please? Please?

19. Big ups to my boy KG on his engagement!

20. Plug for his online radio show http://www.abrotherspov.com/

21. Black love can be such a beautiful thing if you work at it.

22. On the other hand, if you don't, it can be a big ol' pile of ish!

23. Don't act like you don't know what I'm saying!

24. I'm not really one for road rage, but that lady that I flipped off last week really deserved it.

25. If I saw her again, I would probably do the exact same thing.

26. No regrets.

27. Somehow, I think I am doing this backwards, but I've just started working out again.

28. Yeah, I am, but I figure I'll be good and tight for my big 3-0 bday in the dead of winter!

29. As a child I dreamed for a July bday.

30. I never really did get over that, but I guess I need to give that up!

31. I suppose E.Lynn Harris showed yall that he can write hetero-fiction!

32. Just Too Good To Be True was on point. Athletes beware!

33. Just read the book and you'll know what I mean.

34. I'll be starting a book club in the fall. Message me with interests.

35. Some of my sista girls are superb writers.

36. I can't wait to see their pages hit the shelves.

37. September is a big music month!

38. What's on your "go cop it" list?

The "F" Word

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that "F" word (although at times, they can be related)
For the purpose of this blog, the "F" Word is forgiveness.

Now as a Christian, I truly believe in the idea of forgiveness. It's just what we are supposed to do. If this is the case, then why am I having such a hard time doing so? I've concluded that forgiveness takes more than just saying the words and making a few required gestures. They are only the tip of the berg! The embodiment of the "F" Word goes deeper than that.

I've dealt with the inital step. Believe it or not, this took an extreme exercise in humility. I had to realize that everything isn't about me all of the time. With this being understood, I now know that even though it seems as such, the wrongdoings of others aren't always a deliberate attack against me.

I also understand that I am harboring feelings of resentment because I cannot seem to release my mental shackles. I know that this affects my actions in almost every realm of my life. Sure, I feel powerless in some instances. Sure, I know that I need to exercise forgiveness in order for me to regain that power. Now this is where I get stuck.

I know there has to be another step in the process because I haven't completely enveloped the true meaning of the "F" Word. I haven't reached it's ultimate goal. I am looking for a way to let some things go and move past the facade of forgiveness and enter into it's true realm.

Suggestions?

Anticipation

Will I blow my fuse?
Or will I play it calm and refuse
to let this situation get the best of me?
I have been tried and tested,
but I shall not be bested,
not like this.
I have talked, yelled, shouted, cried, sighed, and just thrown my hands up.
I've prayed, swayed, weighed the situation, and prayed some more.
It seems I have exhausted my resources.
Played all of my cards.
Yet, I still am at a loss.
I've played the little lady,
played the boss
been the shoulder,
lady rock and boulder.
Where does it end?
Or shall I say when does it truly begin?
My emotions
filled with such true devotion
I hate this cycle we're in
But yet I/we turn around and
Do it again
Does this madness have no end?
Wishing we could start anew
You know back before you knew me
and I really knew u
Maybe we could set this union
on the path of elevation
manifestation
recreation...
or is all this in anticipation of
devastation?

So In Love...

I swear, I am finally realizing the power of love.
Shout out to Stephanie Mills, Kels, Luther, and Celine!

I woke up this morning seemingly more in love than I have ever been.
I don't know if it is something new or if it has been there all along and has just gone unnoticed.
Now don't get me wrong, I have always felt the love.
It just seems that now, suddenly,
It is renewed, restored, reunited, reinstated, or maybe even recreated.
I just know that it has changed.
Grown to a brand new depth.
This is the kind of love that has no boundaries.
It has no limit.

Loving my Creator.

No boundaries.

Loving myself.

No limit.

Loving us because we are one.

Public Enemy #1

1. Why do people feel that they can just say whatever the hell they want to say to you and it is Just Fine?

2. I don't think that's what Mary J. had in mind.

3. Take Hillary for instance, who in the hell does she think she is?

4. I don't blame Barack for telling her to shove her Vice Presidency offer where Bill doesn't shine!

5. Back to #1 for a moment, what's so hard about giving folks a little respect?

6. Bret Favre is tired, so he quit his job. I'm tired, I want to quit mine too! Unfortunately, I haven't been throwing a football all of my life and my bank account shows proof of such.

7. I would love to know what was going to NY Gov. Spizter's mind when he had one of his prostitutes get on a train from NY to Washington. Was the cooch that good that he had to put it on a train?

8. "I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my — or any — sense of right and wrong," he said. "I apologize to the public, whom I promised better." -Eliot Spitzer (formerGov. of NY)

9. Duh! Dude, you think?

10. I so could not have been his wife up there standing next to him at the podium. However, I bet you she knew all along. She's just embarassed because now everyone knows!

11. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate office politics? I tell ya, these folks haven't got a smidgen of a clue.

12. How many times will Flav find "love"? Seriously, VH1, just let it go!

13. I remember when he and Public Enemy were a sign of a political voice in Hip Hop....

14. Remember "911's a Joke?"

15. True brilliance.

16. It's so awful that now Flav is the joke!

17. While I'm on reality TV, I can't say that I would really have wanted to try out for Idol after the initial sales of Jordin Sparks' cd and Ruben, and other artists were dropped from the label.

18. Do you think the US is going to send troops to Kenya before the Kikuya and Kalenjin tribes turn this into Rwanda: The Sequel?

19. Me either! I guess they don't have oil though, right?

20. Commercial radio is so awful! The playlist consists of the same 8 songs and 10 commercial ads. It doesn't matter the station choice, it's all the same.

21. Hence, the Ipod is a "must carry at all times" item!

22. I truly think my Treo is possessed since it rings when no one is calling, hangs up on certain people, and screws up my calendar.

23. Go figure.

24. I think it's time to join the Blackberry Bandwagon!

My 10 Spot..she got me

Ok, I got tagged by a friend who asked me to post a blog that has 10 random or weird facts about me. So, here goes...

10. The gap I used to have in between my 2 front teeth as a youngster (you Banneker peeps remember that?), miraculously closed without the assistance of braces. That freakin dentist was right. Who knew!

9. I fell off the "No pork, No red meat wagon" and I'm trying to repeat this not so easy process all over again! Bye Bye Ribeye!

8. I love being in love.

7. I never thought I would revert back to a press & curl. Even though I've committed to it, I'm not so sure how much longer I will last on the "rediscovering my naturalness" tip!

6. I skipped school for the 1st time in the 5th grade, got caught, and my butt paid for it royally!

5. Oddly, I have really dark toes. Not the nail, just the toe! It looks crazy and I don't get it, but I wear them out anyway because they are still beautifully me!

4. This year, I plan to make my 2nd attempt at tennis. Last year was...interesting, but I'm not going to give up that easily!

3. I'm really bad about finishing things I start (see #7), but I'm getting better at it everyday (see #4)! I have resolved not to be that chick ;-)

2. I don't like much talking on the phone. I don't know what this one is about. I go through phases with the phone thing.

1. For some unforeseen reason, I cannot fall asleep at night without some type of background noise (tv, music, or something) because I am constantly thinking, "What's next?" I attribute this to my overactive brain and undiagnosed ADD!