Anticipation

Will I blow my fuse?
Or will I play it calm and refuse
to let this situation get the best of me?
I have been tried and tested,
but I shall not be bested,
not like this.
I have talked, yelled, shouted, cried, sighed, and just thrown my hands up.
I've prayed, swayed, weighed the situation, and prayed some more.
It seems I have exhausted my resources.
Played all of my cards.
Yet, I still am at a loss.
I've played the little lady,
played the boss
been the shoulder,
lady rock and boulder.
Where does it end?
Or shall I say when does it truly begin?
My emotions
filled with such true devotion
I hate this cycle we're in
But yet I/we turn around and
Do it again
Does this madness have no end?
Wishing we could start anew
You know back before you knew me
and I really knew u
Maybe we could set this union
on the path of elevation
manifestation
recreation...
or is all this in anticipation of
devastation?