I don't know why I'm on this whole wedding/relationship vibe, but I had a thought and figured I would let it rip. Here goes...
I know just about everyone in my age range has seen the episode of "A Different World" where Whitley was about to marry the Senator and Dwayne Wayne busted up the wedding at least 5 times, right? If not, watch Oxygen and you're bound to catch it. Well, remember how Kim tried to tell Whit that it was okay for her to not get married if she still had feelings for Dwayne? Let me pose a "what would you do?" scenario.
Let's say that it was your best friend that was getting married but you know that he or she is not over the ex and doesn't seem all too thrilled about the upcoming nuptials. Sure they're in love with the idea of walking down the aisle, but they don't talk about love, marriage, and all that comes along with it. What do you say to them, if anything? What would you do?
Looking forward to your comments.
The Art Speaks for Itself
8 years ago
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4 comments:
Only if the best friend truly comes to the person and asks what should she do is when the person gives an opinion. Sometimes the best friend has to experience things on her own. If the other person intervenes, it could result in the loss of that friendship. Just let the best friend know that you have her back; show up at the wedding and if need be, be there to give up a shoulder if the nuptials fail.
First of all, you need to weigh whether or not this is your friend. Now, sometimes we tend to give the people that come into our lives the wrong titles. Just 'cuz we know them, don't make them our friend. Outside of the mall or work, have you cried with this person or held her head up during her storm? Some of us as females can sometimes "hate" meaning, well, example: My "friend" was dating a guy that was horrible to her. She'd keep me up all night crying with her, staking out his crib, wearing disguises, hiding in bushes, the whole nine...After about a year of listening to her cry and constantly tell me about her pain, watching her hair fall out, I finally said sometihing to her. Just your basic: cut him off, let that brother ride. This "friend" turned to me and said, maybe you're just saying that 'cuz you don't have any body! And with that being said, I had to cut her off, let that sista ride. This was the "friend" that I would take my earrings off for in the club, the friend that I would hide in his damn bushes with, to catch her man with his pants down. I said all that to say, when I love, I love hard! Especially those that I title my girlfriends. So, if she's your friend, she'll smile and ask you what you so long to save her, but if she's not, let her ride! With friendships, you don't have to bite your tongue. I encourage all sistas to speak their mind. You might be saving a life...
Be the friend that you want to have.
If she's a BEST friend, then you have some idea how she'll react if you bring up the issue. If she denies what you suspect, then either you're off base or she's not willing to be real about her situation yet. But she'll know you're there.
I advised one of my best friends not to marry her ex-husband. As the maid of honor I was the last to walk down the aisle and while it was just the two of us in the church vestibule I turned around and said, "It's not too late. We can still slip out the back." She laughed it off then, but less than a year later they were over.
As long as your advice cones from a truly genuine and loving place, I think it's ok to give it. Even if your friend doesn't see your point, she'll feel your sincerity.
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