What's Up With That?

• I just do not understand why people think I am so "together" all of the time.
• I wish they knew that on occasion, my stuff can be downright raggedy.
• I guess they would know that if I told them.
• Maybe I should.
• I feel that I should not have to.
• If they are my friends, they should know that about me right?
• Apparently not.
• Are they able to detect that I need a moment?
• Not exactly.
• Would they listen if I told them?
• Actively?
• Of course they would. They are my friends.
• Right?
• Sometimes instead of being the sounding board, I would like to make a little noise.
• AAAAHHHH!
• Sorry.
• That really didn't do it for me.
• I guess I need more than that.
• Anyone for drinks?
• Just kidding...sort of.
• Do people really see "me"?
• I mean beyond the exterior.
• Do I really want them to?
• Seriously. Do I?
• I'm tired.
• I need a break.
• I need to be "noelle" for a while.
• I'm sure you are like "huh?"
• Seriously. "noelle" and "NOELLE" are distinctly different personalities.
• There are others.
• Do I have DID (disociative identity disorder)?
• I feel that way on some days.
• Is today one of those days?
• Of course.
• Would I be writing this blog if it weren't?
• At this exact moment about this exact subject?
• Probably not.
• Okay, absolutely not.
• Is it just me, or does blogging seem easier when you are having a moment?
• Seriously.
• I think it is.
• Maybe I'll try to write my next one when I'm not having a moment.
• Should I really attempt that?
• I mean, come on.
• Do I really want to travel down that road?
• We'll see.
• I said I would never blog
• With that being said...I guess just about anything is possible.

Okay. I just had to come back to this. Before posting, I went back and read it. Since I promised myself that I would not erase any blogs, I just have to pull back and really think about the comments I just made.

While I am somewhat proud of the fact that I am able to portray myself as a "lady to be reckoned with," I also want to be able to get stuff off my chest. I want to be able to say exactly how I am feeling without people thinking that I'm going all Whitney Houston and cracking up and whatnot. Did you just laugh at that? Smile even? I thought that was funny. Sorry, tangent. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up. It is not that I don't care about my peeps' problems, concerns, or issues. I just want to be able to breakdown too without people writing me off as losing my "NOELLE" presence. Afterthought, that sounds really arrogant ("NOELLE"), but I didn't identify the distinction between the two. Thanks K for pointing that out.