What If...Nah, I'm Good

Sure, I live my life without regrets. However, not even I can resist the "What Ifs"...
What if I...

1. Lived a different life? (this could be good)
2. Lived without struggle or strife? (would it be worth it?)
3. Had a new set of friends? (do I get to keep some?)
4. Had no friends? (pretty lonely)
5. Only men friends? (not enough talking)
6. Only female friends? (too much talking)
7. Imaginary friends? (man that one's deep)
8. Went out daily? (what? no chillin?)
9. Never went out at all? (too much chillin)
10. Couldn't type? (creating this would be pretty hard)
11. This was all I knew how to do? (this would be unbearable)
12. Couldn't read? (creating this would be impossible and this would be really unbearable!)
13. Was taller? (I'd love longer legs more!)
14. Was shorter? (they come shorter than me?)
15. Couldn't walk? (but I love my legs!
16. Was skinnier? (been there, not fun)
17. Was fatter? (been there too, not fun either)
18. Was blind? (wouldn't get to see all you beautiful people)
19. Had never been in love? (I'd have missed out on a lot)
20. Had never been loved? (Oh, that one's too depressing)

When I started out writing this, I was going for something so different than this turned out to be. I guess this was something I needed to just get out. The point...Okay. The point is that I can sit back and think about the "What Ifs" and think that living another way might be an okay idea. That is, until I really get the thinking. I can come up with an excuse or reason to justify not want to change what I already have. That's something to think about...

Simply Out of Touch

I never realized that I was so out of touch with people to whom I was really close. I mean, I know I kinda withdrew for a while, but where did the years go? During the years that I was pretty much out of the "public" eye, most of my friends were getting married, finishing degrees, and moving away. Only those in my innermost circle had the "privilege" to deal with my sulking and mood swings during that time.So, you may ask, why did I retreat so drastically for so long? Well I had a rough few years health-wise. Seriously, I had to go under the knife a few times (more than I ever want to again in life). If you don't already know the details, then you really don't need to. Actually, that's part of the reason I "dropped off the face of the Earth". I really got tired of trying to explain things to people, so I stopped going out. That way it was just-End of Story.But it wasn't. I really hated the fact that I couldn't live the life of a normal 20-something. I couldn't really relate to my friends anymore because I wasn't really living the same type of lives that they were. I have to say, honestly, that sucked!Nowadays, my health is great (thanks to those multiple cuttings) and I'm back in the swing of things. Funny thing though, throughout this "withdrawl period," I still managed to continue to date (somewhat). That's getting into another blog though. Until later...