When TV becomes real life...

I don't know why I'm on this whole wedding/relationship vibe, but I had a thought and figured I would let it rip. Here goes...

I know just about everyone in my age range has seen the episode of "A Different World" where Whitley was about to marry the Senator and Dwayne Wayne busted up the wedding at least 5 times, right? If not, watch Oxygen and you're bound to catch it. Well, remember how Kim tried to tell Whit that it was okay for her to not get married if she still had feelings for Dwayne? Let me pose a "what would you do?" scenario.

Let's say that it was your best friend that was getting married but you know that he or she is not over the ex and doesn't seem all too thrilled about the upcoming nuptials. Sure they're in love with the idea of walking down the aisle, but they don't talk about love, marriage, and all that comes along with it. What do you say to them, if anything? What would you do?

Looking forward to your comments.

I think I'll wait

-so, why are people trying to marry me off?
-I have heard all of the same things...
-you're a great catch!
-you could make a great wife!
-Blah, blah, blah....
-like I don't already know all of that, duh
-then they turn around and say, well maybe it's you
-as if to say that just because i am running down 28 y.o. in my bcbg boots sans ring that I am surely the "problem"
-I mean seriously implying that because I am not married, I am flawed, or defective
-why can't it be that I am simply not one to settle?
-I think I'll just wait on what I know I need, like, and want
-I know it seems as if I'm sitting in traffic on the Dan Ryan when I could have easily taken the El and been there an hour ago
-I don't know what's been up with me and the analogies lately
-my apologies for the reflective aside
-anyway...I've been there, tried that
-you wouldn't believe what I have had to encounter to reach my intended destination
-let me just say, in past situations, I have not been a happy camper
-certain things I can ride with
-others, not so much
-tings me no can do (accent included)...
-just downright lazy
-forever stupid
-consistently broke-means he can't plan
-futuristically broke-means he doesn't want to plan
-lackluster-I'm bright and shiny, what do I need a tarnished dude for?
-ambitionless (this one refers back to futuristically broke-they go hand in hand)
-I'm wondering how long I should make this list
-should I write what I'm thinking, or be considerate of my readers?
-bare with me
-I gotta list a few more
-funky-this one requires no further explanation
-or so stuck on himself that he's always in the mirror, while obviously not leaving me any space to check my hair!
-talk about infuriating!
-so friends, I am so not interested in those pseudo-happenstance meetings that you keep trying to set up
-I'll meet "him" when I'm ready
-and who knows...
-I may know this dude already ;-)
-if not, I still think I'll wait...I'm in no rush!

Time Out....

I am coming to believe that Mondays are my time for reflection. Which is perfectly okay with me. I tend to reflect throughout the week, but on Mondays all of those thoughts come to fruition. This week, instead of having a Private Party, I'm just calling TIME OUT!

No, I'm not sitting in the corner with my face to the wall. Nor am I sitting on the sidelines setting up a play (well not really). I am however, going off to chill. You know sometimes in the 9 to 5 world we live in, this is not a luxury as much as it is a necessity. I have to come to find that I can be tense, upset, and frustrated at my desk and the minute I walk out of the door, my viewpoint transforms. Is this transformation pyschological? It is possible. Seeing as how I didn't really care to be behind that desk anyways, it is very probable. My point is that my blessings do not spring forth from this desk. I therefore, shall not let the dealings that take place at this desk block me psychologically from receiving my blessings. I have come to find that blessings from the Lord shall not dwell in a cluttered space. I am, therefore, setting out the proverbial trash!

That being said, Tweet! Tweet! (whistle blows) Let's resume play...

Private Party

• Ok. I've been really vibing with India.Arie today.
• I guess I'm just having a Testimony type of day (week actually). Private Party has got to be one of the best songs on this album!
• There are others that I love too, but today, this is it for me!
• I must admit, thus far my week has been down right raggedy!
• I know it is only Monday!
• So you see from whence I come.
• I have a lot going on that I'm not quite sure how to handle.
• I'll get through it though.
• I always do.
• I have been playing this song just about every hour.
• No, I'm not totally psycho.
• Seriously!
• I just think my sistah India makes some really valid points here.
• I think all women should celebrate themselves.
• I'm learning to do this a little more.
• Ironically, some people think I'm truly conceited.
• This is sooo not the case.
• I guess I should have been an actress since people say I play that part well.
• Haha! ;-)
• Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that I am pretty hard on myself.
• Right here, right now I am promising to let it go.
• Why worry about the things that I can't change, right?
• Serenity Prayer 101.
• I know this may sound like a pity party, but really it isn't.
• It's a pause party.
• I'm just taking a pause.
• .............................................
• As good as that was, I need more.
• Ok, back to Private Party.
• I think I wrote this song in my former life!
• Or, maybe I wrote in my present one and just never put pen to paper...

Sorry for the ramble!

My Testimony on Testimony (concert)

I went to the India.Arie in concert last night at the Chicago Theatre. Where shall I begin? I guess the opening act is as a good a place as any. As of early last week, I am so brand new on Robin Thicke! I love the falsetto voice he has happening. The Evolution of... has a nice vibe. It's worth a pick up. With that being said, I was all for him being the opening act for my soul sistah. Voice--live and in person-pretty darn good. Dancing on the other hand, he shouldn't do. He had this whole Michael Jackson skip thing going. LOL All in all, it was a cool performance from the new kid on my ipod block.

Now for the main attraction...
What can I truly say about India that you don't already know? She is an artist in the truest sense. Her performance was so awesome. Inspirational even. I left the venue in an entirely different and opposite frame of mind than I walked in with. I mean, okay, I knew she could sing. Last night though, I felt like I wrote everything she sang. Maybe it was my state of mind and what I've been going through, maybe not. Either way, her performance did the trick last night. It let me know that even her stuff gets down right raggedy sometimes (just like mine), and that it's okay for it to be that way! ...Temporarily!

Experience Rating: Off the charts! It did my spirit good!

To My Sistahs...

Sistahs,

Over the last few years, I must say that I have discovered that being a "lady" is a dying sentiment. These letters are not meant to offend, I just want to bring to the forefront a topic that I feel is severely affecting my sistahs. So simply stated, if you are offended, read it again, because I'm probably talking about you. ;-)

I was brought up to believe that females were to act as ladies and that if a female presented herself as a lady, then she would be treated as such. I cannot even begin to count the number of times that I have heard a girl/woman say, "They don't know how to treat a lady." I must say that I do feel somewhat guilty about this, but my rhetorical response is always, "Well, most of them probably would if you even remotely acted like one." I know that sounds a little harsh, but those are my honest thoughts. With that being said, I have a couple of points to address.

1. You will be viewed as you display.
This is an important one and it is sooo based on common sense. If you don't want to be approached like a 'rat, stop dressing like a rat! Now of course there is always going to be that one token crazy fool that will approach you no matter what, but he's the exception. Seriously though, when God created women, he made some beautiful creatures. Everybody knows that. You have no need to show them every chance you get. Modesty and mystery are the tickets to being “truly” seen. If you just want to be seen, naked and nasty are the way to go. Sorry to be blunt, but I really think some of you need to hear this. You have to respect yourself before anyone else will.

This one is regarding a slightly different aspect of ladyship…

2. Stop hatin!
Personally, I have encountered more haters in my life than I deem necessary, which is why I feel this worthy of mentioning. How can you point out the lady impersonators? Look for the ones who are hatin on the real ladies! I don’t know about you, but I support my friends, family, and even strangers in their endeavors because I want them to succeed. Whether it be a business venture, marriage, or life choice, it is good to see people like us doing their thing! Why are some of you so upset at their success? If it seems as if I am singling “us” out, it is because I am.

I thought about writing these letters (they’ll be more) because I think this is stuff that just needs to be said. Just think, I am a woman/lady, if I feel this way about some of us, you just have to wonder what the men think. Hmmm...

P&B (Peace and Blessings) from one sistah to another,
Noe

What's Up With That?

• I just do not understand why people think I am so "together" all of the time.
• I wish they knew that on occasion, my stuff can be downright raggedy.
• I guess they would know that if I told them.
• Maybe I should.
• I feel that I should not have to.
• If they are my friends, they should know that about me right?
• Apparently not.
• Are they able to detect that I need a moment?
• Not exactly.
• Would they listen if I told them?
• Actively?
• Of course they would. They are my friends.
• Right?
• Sometimes instead of being the sounding board, I would like to make a little noise.
• AAAAHHHH!
• Sorry.
• That really didn't do it for me.
• I guess I need more than that.
• Anyone for drinks?
• Just kidding...sort of.
• Do people really see "me"?
• I mean beyond the exterior.
• Do I really want them to?
• Seriously. Do I?
• I'm tired.
• I need a break.
• I need to be "noelle" for a while.
• I'm sure you are like "huh?"
• Seriously. "noelle" and "NOELLE" are distinctly different personalities.
• There are others.
• Do I have DID (disociative identity disorder)?
• I feel that way on some days.
• Is today one of those days?
• Of course.
• Would I be writing this blog if it weren't?
• At this exact moment about this exact subject?
• Probably not.
• Okay, absolutely not.
• Is it just me, or does blogging seem easier when you are having a moment?
• Seriously.
• I think it is.
• Maybe I'll try to write my next one when I'm not having a moment.
• Should I really attempt that?
• I mean, come on.
• Do I really want to travel down that road?
• We'll see.
• I said I would never blog
• With that being said...I guess just about anything is possible.

Okay. I just had to come back to this. Before posting, I went back and read it. Since I promised myself that I would not erase any blogs, I just have to pull back and really think about the comments I just made.

While I am somewhat proud of the fact that I am able to portray myself as a "lady to be reckoned with," I also want to be able to get stuff off my chest. I want to be able to say exactly how I am feeling without people thinking that I'm going all Whitney Houston and cracking up and whatnot. Did you just laugh at that? Smile even? I thought that was funny. Sorry, tangent. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up. It is not that I don't care about my peeps' problems, concerns, or issues. I just want to be able to breakdown too without people writing me off as losing my "NOELLE" presence. Afterthought, that sounds really arrogant ("NOELLE"), but I didn't identify the distinction between the two. Thanks K for pointing that out.

What If...Nah, I'm Good

Sure, I live my life without regrets. However, not even I can resist the "What Ifs"...
What if I...

1. Lived a different life? (this could be good)
2. Lived without struggle or strife? (would it be worth it?)
3. Had a new set of friends? (do I get to keep some?)
4. Had no friends? (pretty lonely)
5. Only men friends? (not enough talking)
6. Only female friends? (too much talking)
7. Imaginary friends? (man that one's deep)
8. Went out daily? (what? no chillin?)
9. Never went out at all? (too much chillin)
10. Couldn't type? (creating this would be pretty hard)
11. This was all I knew how to do? (this would be unbearable)
12. Couldn't read? (creating this would be impossible and this would be really unbearable!)
13. Was taller? (I'd love longer legs more!)
14. Was shorter? (they come shorter than me?)
15. Couldn't walk? (but I love my legs!
16. Was skinnier? (been there, not fun)
17. Was fatter? (been there too, not fun either)
18. Was blind? (wouldn't get to see all you beautiful people)
19. Had never been in love? (I'd have missed out on a lot)
20. Had never been loved? (Oh, that one's too depressing)

When I started out writing this, I was going for something so different than this turned out to be. I guess this was something I needed to just get out. The point...Okay. The point is that I can sit back and think about the "What Ifs" and think that living another way might be an okay idea. That is, until I really get the thinking. I can come up with an excuse or reason to justify not want to change what I already have. That's something to think about...

Simply Out of Touch

I never realized that I was so out of touch with people to whom I was really close. I mean, I know I kinda withdrew for a while, but where did the years go? During the years that I was pretty much out of the "public" eye, most of my friends were getting married, finishing degrees, and moving away. Only those in my innermost circle had the "privilege" to deal with my sulking and mood swings during that time.So, you may ask, why did I retreat so drastically for so long? Well I had a rough few years health-wise. Seriously, I had to go under the knife a few times (more than I ever want to again in life). If you don't already know the details, then you really don't need to. Actually, that's part of the reason I "dropped off the face of the Earth". I really got tired of trying to explain things to people, so I stopped going out. That way it was just-End of Story.But it wasn't. I really hated the fact that I couldn't live the life of a normal 20-something. I couldn't really relate to my friends anymore because I wasn't really living the same type of lives that they were. I have to say, honestly, that sucked!Nowadays, my health is great (thanks to those multiple cuttings) and I'm back in the swing of things. Funny thing though, throughout this "withdrawl period," I still managed to continue to date (somewhat). That's getting into another blog though. Until later...